Gold Dust

You and me,

Against the world.

That’s what it felt like the moment I saw you.

They say love at first sight doesn’t exist. But I am living proof that it does.

I fell in love with my husband when I first laid eyes on him.

Everyone has their own perspective on how love should work. How it’s supposed to be like. My question is, why does it need to be ANY PARTICULAR way? If you feel it’s right, why doubt it?

I know, you’ve been through shit in the past. You carry baggage. But doesn’t everyone? That’s what has made you who you are today. The right person will accept it. Will love you, no matter what it is you carry or don’t.

You see, I’ve been hurt my whole life by boys. I suck at relationships. I’m the type of girl that will give you my all and forget the rest of the world. But guys, that’s why you are thrown such people to teach you. To make you better, to learn and figure out what you want in a partner. I was hurt bad before I met my husband. I fell into a dark place but I slowly picked myself up. I focused on me and bam, I got married.  Coming from a girl that said “I’m never getting married.”

REWIND:

I had been single for about three years, since I broke up with my previous ex. So I spent that time trying to figure out who I was, what I wanted and enjoy life, ALONE. I did date, had hookups, but nothing was ever serious. It was more for my enjoyment.

If you’ve been following along with my posts, this ties in.

I love electronic dance music. I had been going to raves for a few years now and after my hospitalization incident, it kinda put a pause on it. Not because I didn’t want to go anymore but because I was unsure of how I would feel going back into that scene again. Six months passed, and I decided to test it out. I went to a Galantis Rave in SF. It wasn’t a big one, it was held at Ruby Skye. I went with one of my good friends, she was aware of what had happened and I trusted her with my life.

Anyway, first time going back and it went well. Of course I was sober, nothing to drink, smoke, nothing. I did get a little paranoid, but given the circumstances it was normal.

I clearly remember seeing this man not too far from where we were standing. I could not keep my eyes off of him. He was the most handsome man I had ever seen. I needed to talk to him. I’m more than positive that he felt eyes pinned on him, because him and his friends would slowly get closer to us.

There was a random dude that was drawn to my friend and wanted to go grab a drink. I was just like, you gotta be kidding me. I cannot leave from this spot. I will never find him again in such a big crowd?! But I was not going to stay there by myself… So we leave to the bar and I tell my friend about the guy and she tells the random dude the situation. We return to the floor and guess what? I kid you not, we find them. Time passes and apparently, the guy went to go tell him that I was basically obsessed with him. I mean he wanted my friend to himself, Obviously, this was for his benefit…

As he comes up to me and touches my shoulder, I turn around and all I could think was HOLY SHIT, this is happening. My heart is beating way to fast to even recognize a beat. But this isn’t the type of environment you can just chat it up. So we just let our bodies talk, we danced the night away. I was filled with so much happiness. I didn’t have a care in the world, I wasn’t worried, I didn’t have any second thoughts, I just let the night take it away. I was on cloud nine and I didn’t want to come down. I remember looking into his eyes and I just knew I loved him. It’s a weird thing to say, but that’s exactly how I felt. I had the biggest smile on my face that entire night, so big, that my jaw hurt the next morning. I didn’t even care if this was just for a night, I wanted to enjoy this feeling.

As the night ended, he asked for my number and I received a text within the hour. It was such a polite text, I was surprised by such mannerism. I was expecting like a hey, or you know something typical. He was being a gentleman and I was drawn into it. At this time, I was still at the UC. He traveled down to see me for our first date, and the rest is history.

We actually did long distance talking for the first few months, when we were just dating. But we made it work, I definitely had my walls up for a while because of my past but he was accepting, patient and understanding. Three of the best qualities I could ever ask for.

The funny thing is, I never expected that to happen that night. He almost didn’t go to that concert, and neither did I. We ended up going and what a surprise. Fate? Coincidence? Destiny? Whatever it was I’m thrilled that it happened.

Never would I have thought I would find him at a rave, what are the odds?

You never know what life will hand to you or when.

It’s always when you least expect it.

Our Song


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