The Fourth Trimester [UNFILTERED]

We all can’t wait for that moment where we get to hold our baby for the first time. We just can’t wait to take on the journey of motherhood. The thing is, no one tells you what happens after giving birth. No one mentions the FOURTH trimester and I’m not talking the babies first three months, I’m talking about YOUR first few months.

I don’t want to sugar coat anything for you guys.

I’m going to tell you the PURE honest, FILTHY truth. *TMI WARNING*

So you thought birth was it, after that, easy sailing. Think again, I didn’t know what to expect from postpartum. I read about it, but reading is way different than actually going through it. Us women, we don’t get a single break once that sperm fertilizes the egg. So if you’re pregnant and reading this, enjoy your pregnancy while it’s still fun and exciting. I’m not trying to scare you, I just want to be REAL with you. My birth wasn’t medicated, it was all NAT CHUR AL, so I felt it all. Except the coping mechanisms, I’ll explain. You see, I learned this trick where you apply strong pressure on this soft spot on top of your shoulder and it sort of distracts you from the pain. Also, I had pain on my lower back and my husband would apply strong pressure there as well and that also helped. These things managed to get me through my surges a.k.a contractions. Anyway, the following morning, I FELT it all. My WHOLE entire body was SORE. Every. Single. Muscle. Man, you don’t feel anything else while you’re giving birth, you could literally break your arm and not feel a thing… until the next day. Not joking. I didn’t know I used that many parts of my body to give birth. Not only could I barely move, but my vagina was SORE AS FUCK. You just busted a baby out of there, it’s not going to feel… nice. It was so difficult for me to breastfeed because everything was aching. I was as slow as a snail. Getting up from the bed was the worst, my husband had to help me. I could’ve used a forklift.

There are some things that your caregiver provides you once you leave home for your recovery. One of the things is Maxi Pads. These aren’t your typical, period pads though, no they were ginormous. They aren’t supposed to look pretty. They are made for you to stay at home and rest. They are well, hideous. They cover you from the top of your pubic bone to your tailbone and TRUST ME, they do it for a reason. You bleed, bleed and bleed. Just as if you were having a baby all over again. It’s not like a heavy period, it’s a little more than that. The good thing about this is that it lasts only for a few days. At least it did for me. After that, you can begin to use big pads and slowly size down as your bleeding slows down. You also have blood clots that come out, and they are the size of a dollar coin. But you get maybe about three. And these aren’t the biggest deal, unless you have them bigger than the average size and more than you should. The thing is, every woman has a different body so we all heal differently. So make sure to pay attention to your own body. By the way, mesh underwear. You must take them home with you. They will save you a great headache. They are super comfortable! You don’t want to wear regular underwear, not because you can’t but because you won’t want to, trust me. And this underwear is reusable so you can just wash it with water and dry it. It’s the greatest invention ever made.

I also received a peri bottle which is a LIFE SAVER. So during childbirth, you may or may not tear. I did. It was a 2nd degree tear, so it wasn’t TOO bad. But it’s bad enough to receive stitches. This is where the peri bottle comes in, you use it so you can pee comfortably? Hmm. No. So you can tolerate it. You see, it STINGS. You fill the peri bottle with warm water to help with the stinging. And it does help. BUT it’s annoying. When you gotta pee, you got to pee. Ain’t nobody got time to fill a peri bottle with warm water, but then again you don’t want it to sting, so you do it anyway while holding in your pee. Especially during the night, when your half asleep! You also got to carry that everywhere, unless you don’t mind the pain…

Don’t get me started on ice. You guys, ice will become your best fucken friend. My caregiver gave me these huge large ice packs, almost the size of the pad and I loved them. Your vagina and your anus will thank you for it. It helps with the pain, not only that it helps you heal. I used these packs for about three days, and after that I used normal pads. But not just any ordinary pads, frozen ones. There’s this trick that helps with the healing. You add witch hazel plus aloe vera, and boom. You’ve just made the best concoction ever. I used these not for long either, but they definitely worked like magic.

There was one thing I didn’t know about until I experienced it myself, and those are after-surges. You basically get contractions after! Can you believe that? The first time I felt it, I was like what the hell, no one tells you about this?! It feels very uncomfortable, I mean you tolerate it, but it was the most annoying thing ever. Every time I would breastfeed I would feel it and it was beyond uncomfortable and your just there with your baby on top of your contraction… how much more pain can we tolerate right? You’re trying to figure out this breastfeeding thing while your boobs are in excruciating pain while your contraction is happening! Well, the bright side is that lasts about a week or so, and the reason for this is because your uterus is shrinking back to it’s normal size. I’m NOT kidding when I say you get pain everywhere.

Bare with me while I get into our next subject, pooping. I was absolutely terrified to take a shit. I still remember guys. The thing is, YOU SHOULD NOT HOLD IT. As bad as you don’t want to go, you MUST. Luckily you don’t poop until two days after birth, so you have some time to mentally prepare yourself. The most important step is to have your handy dandy peri bottle with you. The second is to not strain. If you push too hard, that’s why it hurts a lot more than it should, that’s why you must eat well with fiber foods in order to poop smoothly. Also, make sure you absolutely need to go otherwise, your going to want to push it out and then well, hemorrhoids. It does suck, I’m not going to lie to you. But feeling empty feels WAY BETTER. You just gotta suck it up and let it happen. After a few times, it gets easier and sometimes it hurts less than other times. But you get through it and you heal. It doesn’t last forever.

On that note, baths will come in handy as well. These will help you heal, not only that but they provide relief to your vagina and butt. You’ll want it. You can either take a full body bath or purchase a sitz bath which goes on your toilet and it’s basically a bath for just your private parts. These are nice because you can do it several times a day, opposed to just one big bath. I personally liked to take full on baths because it would relax me. I used Herb Lore products, they are natural, amazing products! I highly recommend them. They had this sitz bath product which consisted of herbs and it smelled delicious. I was basically taking a bath in hot yummy stew. I loved it, it worked miracles, for me.

One of the difficulties I dealt with was resting. I HATED being in bed. I literally felt fine three days in and wanted to be out and about. They say to get rest so your body can heal. Of course right, your body just went through so much, but I, felt great already. The thing is, when you do so much too fast, you can bleed again. It’s your body’s way of telling you to slow down. I was already taking walks around the block by day three. I felt fine. A few weeks in and I started to bleed again and my vagina was stinging and hurting. Like it didn’t feel right and it was that I did too much too fast. So yes, REST. It sucks, but it helps the process a lot quicker.

Another was my emotions. Your emotions are on HIGH. You get the baby blues and you’re sad for no reason. This is normal. Your hormones are all over the place, not only that but because of it your body temperature is crazy! One thing though is I have anxiety, so postpartum anxiety didn’t fall far from the tree. I got it, bad. A regular person with anxiety worries a high amount, postpartum anxiety is like emphasized, but is relevant to your baby. The first few days I struggled to sleep. I didn’t want to sleep because I wasn’t able to supervise my baby. When I did fall asleep I would wake up startled and looking for him. I would check if he was breathing, every time. Another thing, every little noise he would make I would worry about. Is he okay? Is he in pain? I mean you don’t know, there’s no way of knowing what he’s feeling. I was uneasy the first month or so. I was just so worried about something happening to him, I mean you can’t protect your child from everything, but that’s literally what you want to do. PROTECT HIM FROM ALL HARM. I just put all this work to bring him into this world, and in a blink of an eye I could lose him? No, I absolutely didn’t want that. There’s been so many more things that I’ve experienced with this, but it’s gotten better of course, but it took time, practice, patience and trust. I know how it feels, so if any of you are going through this, just remember that your baby LOVES you and you do EVERYTHING that you can for him. I’m more than sure he KNOWS that.

Lastly, sex. I just want to say I was terrified. Your vagina just stretched out ten cm to bring your baby into this world, a penis shouldn’t feel that bad, right? Well. It’s SUPER uncomfortable. The first time you do it again, it’s not all lovely and romantic. As much as you try to make it, it’s just not. I think the fear of the tear mixed in with your vagina going through that pain makes it difficult to enjoy it. But hey, you want to do because you want to get it over with because you’re bound to do it sometime. Just remember it gets better! I personally don’t think sex became different like people say. But then again, my body is different than others. You would just have to see for yourself to figure that one out.

All of these things are temporary. You heal and you get back to normal. I mean your body changes a bit, but you gain a new love in your life that you’ll cherish for a lifetime. Postpartum is just something that needs to happen for your body to recover and once you pass that bridge, it’s like it never happened. Push through it, you’ll be just fine. Before you know it, it’ll just be a memory.

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